Update on Uncle

My mom and dad went to spend the weekend after Thanksgiving with my sick uncle. They had a good time and everyone was in good spirits.

When Mom got home she told me what she finally managed to drag out of my uncle's SO... They say that it won't be the cancer/tumors/whatever that is going to kill him, it'll be the loss of lung function.

Apparently his lungs have been deteriorating for quite some time (even before this mess, from what I understood) and the upper portion of his lungs isn't really functioning at all. Uncle's SO says that the doctors told him that basically, Uncle will go to sleep one night and simply not wake up because his lungs will just give out. If I understood Mom correctly (and if she understood SO right) part of what's keeping his lungs going right now is the fact that the stomach contracts too, and that it's keeping his lungs stimulated.

And somehow, this is harder to cope with than the idea of cancer. I guess with the cancer there's always the chance that treatments will work, but something like this... there's just nothing that will fix it, short of a miracle. From what I understand he's not a transplant candidate (due to cancer and a lifetime of smoking). Basically, it's a waiting game.

That really bothers me.

I don't like the wait-and-see approach.

So for the last couple days this has had me in a funk. Like I've said before he's only about 14 years older than me and it's hard to imagine someone so young dying of lung failure. I've lost young friends to illnesses not befitting their age before, but this is so random. And of course, I've said before that I feel like he's largely responsible for this because of his lifetime of smoking so it's hard to feel bad for him, exactly, but I still hate it.

I hate that of my mom's four brothers this will be the second one she's lost. Of the remaining two, one is a meth head and the other is out of his mind (remember the Baker Act uncle?) so who knows how long either of them will be around. She's got a sister (who cleaned her act up after years of living a rough life) who is doing relatively well, so that's encouraging, but all of this reminds me that my mom is 55 and well into the years where adults really start having medical problems. It reminds me that life isn't fair, because how could my aunt smoke for like 20- or 30- something years, quit cold turkey, and have little more than a touch of emphysema, but my uncle smoked for maybe a little over a decade and it's the death of him?

All of this has me worried for my mom, especially since she's without insurance.

People under 40 shouldn't die like this, just like kids shouldn't die of the horrible things they do. Just like babies and old folks shouldn't die at the hands of the people who are supposed to take care of them. Just like nobody should have to live with crippling diseases or things that wreck their quality of life or illnesses resulting from the careless actions of others.

Sorry, I'm just in a life-sucks-and-isn't-fair funk. That's the update on my uncle. Not that it's much of one, but there it is.

Introducing...

My dear friend over at Mom's Soapbox!

I met her just shortly after she suffered a great loss in her life and it's been quite a journey since then, getting to know each other and eventually becoming good friends. But, from here I'm just going to leave it to her to tell her story. I'm sure you'll love her just like I do!

The final installment of my Thankfuls

9. I'm thankful for sales that make it more affordable to have some good, old-fashioned, family-feasting togetherness. We got our turkey at 59 cents per pound and we had enough for six adults to eat their fill and to have leftovers for a couple more meals for my little family and for my parents. We had enough trimmings for everyone to eat their fill and for me to have enough for supper tonight without any wasted. It worked out perfectly.



8. I'm thankful for my little brother. He's given me a lot of grief the last couple years but he's still my baby brother. One day he'll realize that. :)



7. I'm thankful for beautiful autumn days. Outside the state everyone thinks Florida is the Sunshine State but within the state we know Florida has rather fickle weather. A November day can be in the 90s, the 60s, raining, shining, or anywhere in between. Yesterday dawned bright and beautiful, mostly clear, and the temp stayed in the low/mid 80s. It was just breezy enough that the air wasn't stuffy but not breezy enough to blow away my cute little outdoor feast. And since we had that cooler snap earlier in the season we have some gorgeous color in our trees that Florida doesn't always get to enjoy. It was a perfect day for an outdoor get-together.



6. I'm thankful for fresh haircuts. This is another silly one, I suppose, but I had my hair cut on Tuesday and it has been marvelous. It stayed out of my face during all of the preparations and the longer I have it the more I realize my hair stylist is capable of working wonders. She's a great girl and she's really talented, and I'm thankful to be her friend. But as for haircuts... We all know how good it feels to have a fresh cut.



5. I'm thankful for family recipes. They can really make a holiday feel right. For some people it's a special casserole or a punch or potato salad. For us, it's buttermilk pie. No get-together is complete without it. And, I think it's what made my brother actually show up. :)

4. I'm thankful for long, loud evenings with my family. It's been a while since we've had an evening like that and I really needed it.

3. I'm thankful for days spent cooking with my mom. I've shared responsibility for meals with her before, but this is the first time I've really spent a lot of time in the kitchen with her. We had a lot of fun and it really made me thankful. It also made me a little sad because because this has been a hard year for some girls I know--one lost her mom a couple months ago and the other very nearly lost her mom at the beginning of the year. I'm so very thankful for the moms who are still with us and trying my best to honor the ones who aren't. To me, Thanksgiving kind of carries on their memories.



2. I'm thankful for the joy that surrounded us. This picture says it all.



1. I'm thankful for my husband. This year has been a hard one for us but we've stuck together. I am so incredibly blessed to have him. He was also so helpful over Thanksgiving--he took Sweet'ums to play at a place around here that has those big blow-up bouncy castles and on Thanksgiving he took her to see his family so Mom and I could cook. He's been nice about cleaning up and wanted so badly to help somehow. He's doing so much lately to show me just how he adores me and that effort means everything to me. And every day, but especially today, I'm thankful for the wonderful man God gave me.

Maybe tomorrow

I was planning to finish up my "thankfuls" tonight but I'm completely exhausted. So, check back tomorrow for more "thankfuls" and pictures from Thanksgiving. Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Thankful #17-10

I'm a little late with this, I know, but I keep getting sidetracked. I hope everyone is having a good week!

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17. I'm thankful for the rain we've been getting. For those of you not from Florida, rain here typically comes in one of two varieties: "Whoa, who opened the floodgates?" and "Hey, was that a rain drop?" We had a few really wet spells to break up an otherwise dry year and now that autumn/winter is setting in we're starting to get a little rain here and there every couple weeks. Right now the radar says it's raining outside but so far, I can't hear it. But, I'm thankful for it all the same!

16. I'm thankful for a husband who (sometimes) washes the dishes. Enough said? We don't have a dishwasher, unless you count the one named Nice Guy.

15. I'm thankful for 59-cent-per-pound turkeys. It makes having Mom and Dad over for Thanksgiving way more affordable.

14. I'm thankful for second chances. God gives us so many of them, and most of them we don't deserve. Everything about my life is a second chance. I'm thankful He saw fit to let me have it.

13. I'm thankful that my parents have friends who care so much about them. I'm sure I've mentioned that my dad is out of work and my mom is working two jobs right now trying to hold things together, and they don't have insurance. My dad had a tooth infection this week and the people at church, one by one, have slipped them enough cash that he can go to get it taken care of. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to go. Even above him having the ability to go I'm thankful that the kindness of those people obligates him to go. Otherwise, he would have refused to go and he would have put himself in danger of getting sicker than he already is with it. I'm thankful that God works it out sometimes so that people who otherwise don't do what is good for them HAVE to look after themselves.

12. I'm thankful for my own dysfunctional family. This week a death in a family close to mine has reminded me that no matter how screwed up you think your own family is, someone else's family will always one-up yours. And even if they hadn't, I'm still thankful for my extended family, and the people in it, and their very own special brand of crazy. It makes us unique and it makes us, us.

11. I'm thankful for these quiet moments. Sweet'ums and her daddy are both in bed and it's wonderful to sit here, one in spirit with all of you other ladies, listening to music that touches my heart (if you've got kids, you've got to check out the Blink album by Plumb--you'll see what I mean) and writing what's on my mind.

10. I'm thankful for the standard to which God holds me through my daughter. I know she's the root of several of my "thankfuls" but really, she and her father are what shape my life. Apparently she holds me in such high regard that she emulates me, the way I talk, and the things we do. She wants to go places with me! She wants to help me in the kitchen! And she makes me be so keenly aware of everything I say and do, even above and beyond what faith is supposed to, because I know that what I do will be catalogued and filed away and mimicked. No standard I could create for myself, and no standard anyone else could create for me, could ever be higher than that I will be held to by her.

And it makes me want to be a better person.

BREAD!!!

I just finished baking my first ever batch of bread! Well, they were actually rolls, and they are SO GOOD. I just wish everyone could smell my house right now.





That one there, the one that's split open with the butter? That one's for you.

Some of them are going to my mom's house for my dad, and some of them are staying here. I'm just so excited that they actually turned out! I have a feeling I'm going to be making tons more bread in the future.

Thankful #18

18. I'm thankful for the little extras we've been given in life from kind people. Today was gym day and Sweet'ums had a blast. She's getting to where she's behaving better for her new teacher and gym day is something she really looks forward to. I've mentioned before that we don't have to pay for it because my mom does massages a couple times a week in their lobby. That's a real blessing because even though we could probably afford the class she's in right now, it would be money we didn't have to spend on her at other times. Thanks to their kindness she gets to do something she loves and we're not out the extra money. There's other things too, but it's late and I'm going to stop here.

Good night, all!