I won't lie--I'm no good at housework. I pick up after Sweet'ums constantly, and many days that's about all I get done. My biggest problem is not knowing where to start--we've got tons of papers to go through, clothes and baby toys to sort through, and a lot of my college stuff, on top of the usual household chores like dishes and the floors and laundry. I get completely overwhelmed and usually give up before I get started.
It's not even that the house is dirty, really. Mostly, the problem is clutter--stuff laying around that needs to be sorted and gotten rid of. The hard part is figuring out on my own what we should keep and what we should throw away. After all, not all of it is mine, and I feel funny throwing away something that doesn't have my name on it. The problem with that mindset is that I've come to the conclusion that my husband is absolutely not going to help me with it. He says he will, but in the end, there's always something more fun to do, and my house always ends up neglected.
So today I'm trying to get started. I really would like to start in my room first, to go through clothes and get rid of the old so I can put away the things I actually wear, but there's two problems: 1) as much of the stuff that is in our room is his as is mine, and I really can't try on clothes for him, so he'll have to help with that whether he likes it or not, and 2) with Sweet'ums under foot, I can't do much in my room--she'll go through things and play and make a mess of my organization. So I'll probably work on folding clothes first and putting them someplace where they can be out of the way for the time being. After that, I have no clue what I'm going to do.
I tend to get angry and point fingers a lot around the house. NG's only jobs are to wash the dishes for me, take out the trash (since there's a neighborhood dumpster instead of curbside pickup) and clean the litter box. He's responsible for his work clothes, but geez, all I want is for him to put them in the washer--I can turn it on and handle the rest, I just don't want to get the chemical all over me. I don't even count his laundry as being a chore. But I get so mad at him. Just like this weekend, he was off three days and he did none of his jobs. Then, it came up in conversation that he gets frustrated when he comes home and the house is a mess. It's like... umm, excuse me, but some of this mess is yours (I pick up after him as much as I do Sweet'ums) and I just spent my day feeding, caring for, and picking up after your daughter. We even altered our deal about him doing dishes--now it's one person cooks, the other does dishes. I usually clean up after he cooks, but he can't return the same courtesy. It's frustrating.
But the point of all that is that I shouldn't point fingers. I think the problem is that I get frustrated trying to figure out where to start, and then I get frustrated about things that should already be done that aren't, adding to the overall mess.
So, here's my question. Have any of you ever had to clean a really cluttered house from scratch, and how did you manage it? Where did you start? And do you have any advice for someone in a small home with little storage space? I have two closets and no cupboard, so my cabinets are full of dishes and my dry groceries sit on the floor.
Also, please pray for Sweet'ums. She's caught whatever bug has been going around and she's really not feeling good. Fortunately she hasn't had a fever but the cough has kept her awake at night (and us, too).
Monday, May 31, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Answers, five months later
To start with, thank you to Wolfie and Melinda for offering encouragement regarding the situation with my brother. You don't know how much it means.
More than just my brother has me concerned lately. I'm really beginning to worry about my marriage.
I don't mean to sound "emo", and there's really nothing that just pops out as being wrong. We have the same problems as anyone else--we don't really like where we live, we don't have much extra cash at the end of the pay period, there's always family drama. We've got a great kid, and we try to do a lot with her, and we try to spend as much time together as we can.
But I can feel the shift.
We went to the doctor for the issues I alluded to in one of my December posts. We decided to try someone new, at a completely different clinic, to see if she'd have any different insight than the doctors at my old clinic. After all, "I don't know what's wrong, so go talk to a therapist" isn't exactly the most helpful response. This new lady had incredible bedside manner, and I really liked her. She also had an answer to our problems. Her advice was the same as the other doctor, and even though her answer wasn't exactly encouraging, it at least gave me a starting point.
The problem is that therapists are expensive. Insurance won't cover them, typically, unless you've got some sort of mental diagnosis, which I do not. Luckily she's the type who charges based on what you can afford, but that's just the problem--we really can't afford this. Her office is also an hour away, creating an additional hardship. Throw NG's work schedule into the mix and we've got a real issue on our hands. We've tried solving the problem on our own, and have had little luck. The therapist might be our only chance.
We've always said that this one component was not the single most important aspect of our marriage. And really, it's not. But it does play an enormous role in how close you feel to each other and how you interact and how you deal with stress together. Slowly we're getting to a point where we're hardly more than two roommates. I've got a short fuse with him and he's got this little bubble he lives in. Sweet'ums is hanging in there, but I know she has to feel the tension. I love him and he loves me, but I wonder sometimes if love is enough. I've always heard that certain things don't seem important until you don't have them anymore, and I wonder a little if our philosophy the last few years was misguided.
I feel like it's all my fault. The impairment is on my end, and it complicates everything. Something that should be special has turned into something that sparks arguments and creates unnecessary tension. Something that should make us feel connected leaves us feeling alone and misunderstood. NG says he won't divorce me over it unless I decide at some point that I'm tired of trying, and I don't want to divorce, but there's a part of me that feels defeated already. I think it wouldn't be so hard if we could make up in closeness and romance what we lack in the bedroom, but for as sexually impaired as I am, NG is equally as impaired romantically. He just doesn't "get" how to be romantic. He second-guesses himself anytime he does try. He'll stop at the store on his way home, and think about getting me flowers or a card or something, but he'll always convince himself that I won't like it or think of fifteen other reasons not to do it (for example, my cat eats flowers, and in all honesty, I don't need chocolate). Of course it's nice to know he thought of me, but sometime it would be nice if he'd do more than think of me.
And, of course, he blames himself too. His job makes him keep hard hours. He doesn't have a good family background to draw experience from in dealing with things like this and his dad isn't exactly a top-notch resource on dealing with marital issues. He's romantically impaired, doesn't have much extra money to work with and blames himself for not being able to make me feel better about my family issues. He feels responsible for my weight gain (never mind my genetic predisposition to weight issues or my affinity for baked goods) and all the problems that go with it. He feels the weight of the world and the one way I had to help him feel a little less alone and detached is slowly fading away.
The last couple years, but these last few months especially, I feel like have been chipping away at me little by little. When the problems first started we still managed to find enough chances to laugh to balance it all out, but over time it seemed like the problems just got heavier and heavier. I feel like less of a wife, less of a woman, and it's taking its toll on me as a person and a mother as well. I'm feeling more and more detached from my husband and it scares me to think what will happen if we aren't able to find some way around this.
We've made it work for five years, four and a half of it married. It's scary to sit back and wonder what the future holds, or if we even have one. It's even scarier to think that if we split, I'll be losing my best friend.
More than just my brother has me concerned lately. I'm really beginning to worry about my marriage.
I don't mean to sound "emo", and there's really nothing that just pops out as being wrong. We have the same problems as anyone else--we don't really like where we live, we don't have much extra cash at the end of the pay period, there's always family drama. We've got a great kid, and we try to do a lot with her, and we try to spend as much time together as we can.
But I can feel the shift.
We went to the doctor for the issues I alluded to in one of my December posts. We decided to try someone new, at a completely different clinic, to see if she'd have any different insight than the doctors at my old clinic. After all, "I don't know what's wrong, so go talk to a therapist" isn't exactly the most helpful response. This new lady had incredible bedside manner, and I really liked her. She also had an answer to our problems. Her advice was the same as the other doctor, and even though her answer wasn't exactly encouraging, it at least gave me a starting point.
The problem is that therapists are expensive. Insurance won't cover them, typically, unless you've got some sort of mental diagnosis, which I do not. Luckily she's the type who charges based on what you can afford, but that's just the problem--we really can't afford this. Her office is also an hour away, creating an additional hardship. Throw NG's work schedule into the mix and we've got a real issue on our hands. We've tried solving the problem on our own, and have had little luck. The therapist might be our only chance.
We've always said that this one component was not the single most important aspect of our marriage. And really, it's not. But it does play an enormous role in how close you feel to each other and how you interact and how you deal with stress together. Slowly we're getting to a point where we're hardly more than two roommates. I've got a short fuse with him and he's got this little bubble he lives in. Sweet'ums is hanging in there, but I know she has to feel the tension. I love him and he loves me, but I wonder sometimes if love is enough. I've always heard that certain things don't seem important until you don't have them anymore, and I wonder a little if our philosophy the last few years was misguided.
I feel like it's all my fault. The impairment is on my end, and it complicates everything. Something that should be special has turned into something that sparks arguments and creates unnecessary tension. Something that should make us feel connected leaves us feeling alone and misunderstood. NG says he won't divorce me over it unless I decide at some point that I'm tired of trying, and I don't want to divorce, but there's a part of me that feels defeated already. I think it wouldn't be so hard if we could make up in closeness and romance what we lack in the bedroom, but for as sexually impaired as I am, NG is equally as impaired romantically. He just doesn't "get" how to be romantic. He second-guesses himself anytime he does try. He'll stop at the store on his way home, and think about getting me flowers or a card or something, but he'll always convince himself that I won't like it or think of fifteen other reasons not to do it (for example, my cat eats flowers, and in all honesty, I don't need chocolate). Of course it's nice to know he thought of me, but sometime it would be nice if he'd do more than think of me.
And, of course, he blames himself too. His job makes him keep hard hours. He doesn't have a good family background to draw experience from in dealing with things like this and his dad isn't exactly a top-notch resource on dealing with marital issues. He's romantically impaired, doesn't have much extra money to work with and blames himself for not being able to make me feel better about my family issues. He feels responsible for my weight gain (never mind my genetic predisposition to weight issues or my affinity for baked goods) and all the problems that go with it. He feels the weight of the world and the one way I had to help him feel a little less alone and detached is slowly fading away.
The last couple years, but these last few months especially, I feel like have been chipping away at me little by little. When the problems first started we still managed to find enough chances to laugh to balance it all out, but over time it seemed like the problems just got heavier and heavier. I feel like less of a wife, less of a woman, and it's taking its toll on me as a person and a mother as well. I'm feeling more and more detached from my husband and it scares me to think what will happen if we aren't able to find some way around this.
We've made it work for five years, four and a half of it married. It's scary to sit back and wonder what the future holds, or if we even have one. It's even scarier to think that if we split, I'll be losing my best friend.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
It's official
I think that, at least for the moment, my relationship with my brother is over. The family argument went to a whole new level and I'm sick of him sapping my parents financially all while disrespecting them and talking dirt about them and treating them like the dirt under his feet. To top it off I refuse to let him throw things I spoke to him about years ago, in confidence, at my mother as ammunition, as if it were his right.
As I right this I'm trying to get my nausea and blood pressure under control, repeating to myself that it's not worth being upset over and eventually, things will change.
The problem is that I don't believe it.
He is who he is, and he is rather dumb. He won't listen to advice and he won't hear reason. He acts like her family hung the moon, but he lives and mooches off of my family and seems to think they owe him the right to talk dirt about them. He says he can't wait to move out.
Fine. We're waiting.
Truth is, reality bites. I mean, we're all pretty happy with our lives, but I don't know any adults who wouldn't admit that paying bills and being responsible and having to supply the funds for everything in life is probably the least fun part about being grown. They'd admit that marriage is work, kids can be absolute pains, and spouses can make you crazy. If he'd listen they'd tell him that if he's having problems with her now, signing a legal contract isn't going to make her pick fewer fights with him--just the opposite. Marrying her isn't going to make the financial issues any better, and moving out isn't going to help his situation. As it stands right now, he only pays for his phone and his car payment. If he moves out, the parents won't pay anything anymore and he'll be on his own. He'll realize real fast just how hard it is to be a grown-up.
I think the root of the problem is that he's spoiled. He feels entitled to walk all over everyone and still get the perks they've offered in the past.
I'm going to miss him, but not enough to tolerate blatant disrespect from him towards myself and my parents. I'm done with him verbally attacking and abusing my mother and acting like she has done nothing but try to make him miserable. I don't always agree with her methods or her reasons but in the end, she does love us and she does want nothing more than our happiness.
(Just for the record... this was written last night, and my computer froze the moment before I hit Publish, so I didn't get back to it until today... I'll update again later.)
As I right this I'm trying to get my nausea and blood pressure under control, repeating to myself that it's not worth being upset over and eventually, things will change.
The problem is that I don't believe it.
He is who he is, and he is rather dumb. He won't listen to advice and he won't hear reason. He acts like her family hung the moon, but he lives and mooches off of my family and seems to think they owe him the right to talk dirt about them. He says he can't wait to move out.
Fine. We're waiting.
Truth is, reality bites. I mean, we're all pretty happy with our lives, but I don't know any adults who wouldn't admit that paying bills and being responsible and having to supply the funds for everything in life is probably the least fun part about being grown. They'd admit that marriage is work, kids can be absolute pains, and spouses can make you crazy. If he'd listen they'd tell him that if he's having problems with her now, signing a legal contract isn't going to make her pick fewer fights with him--just the opposite. Marrying her isn't going to make the financial issues any better, and moving out isn't going to help his situation. As it stands right now, he only pays for his phone and his car payment. If he moves out, the parents won't pay anything anymore and he'll be on his own. He'll realize real fast just how hard it is to be a grown-up.
I think the root of the problem is that he's spoiled. He feels entitled to walk all over everyone and still get the perks they've offered in the past.
I'm going to miss him, but not enough to tolerate blatant disrespect from him towards myself and my parents. I'm done with him verbally attacking and abusing my mother and acting like she has done nothing but try to make him miserable. I don't always agree with her methods or her reasons but in the end, she does love us and she does want nothing more than our happiness.
(Just for the record... this was written last night, and my computer froze the moment before I hit Publish, so I didn't get back to it until today... I'll update again later.)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
The Wonder Child saves the rocking chair!
This week was a lot of fun. After gymnastics on Tuesday we went to visit Sweet'ums' first friend at her home. She's got one brother and four sisters, so it was pretty busy. But we were really impressed--for a house FULL of kids, they were incredibly polite and well-behaved. Sure, they were rowdy at times, but what group of kids isn't? They played with Sweet'ums like she was one of them, and even the older children were more than happy to help occupy the younger ones. That family is a real blessing, and I'm thrilled that we've made friends with them. We stayed until late, really without meaning to, and probably wore out our welcome. But Sweet'ums probably played harder than she ever has before, and she was asleep practically before we left their neighborhood. It was a good day.
Today we set out to buy Sweet'ums a new pair of shoes. The little cloth liner thingie in hers was coming out, and we were starting to think she was outgrowing them anyway. So off we go to find her new shoes. We came away with a new pair of shoes that her uncle would be proud of (he loves the skater-style shoes) and that we think she can put on by herself, since they velcro instead of tie.
From there we went to Goodwill looking for inexpensive shirts her daddy could wear to work, instead of buying new ones for him to tear up. They didn't have any so we tried Salvation Army. We didn't find any shirts, but Sweet'ums found something that she set her heart on: a rocking chair. It looked old and the painted design reminded me of something Pennsylvania Dutch. She climbed up in it and made herself at home. She sat there for the fifteen minutes that her daddy shopped, and for another ten that it took us to convince her it was time to go. So we go to the check-out line with the one item we planned to buy and she went into a total meltdown. She started singing, "Let's save the rocking chair, let's save the rocking chair, let's save the rocking chair!" If you've ever seen The Wonder Pets, you know exactly what I'm talking about. At that point her daddy decided it would be a good investment for me and Sweet'ums and would save us some space in her room (so we can get rid of the huge recliner that's already in there). I really wasn't sure about spending the money since we'd already decided to skip getting her a highly recommended brand of shoes in favor of saving some money, but in the end we got her a pair of shoes and a rocking chair for the price we would have spent on that name-brand pair of shoes.
So tomorrow, Sweet'ums, MeMe and I will go back to Salvation Army to pick up her "rescued" rocking chair. The Wonder Child saved the rocking chair! WEEEEEEE!
As soon as her room is reorganized and everything I'll try to take and post some pictures. We'll find a new home for the ratty old recliner and the toddler bed that has been in there taking up space, and then I think I'll put her new chair beside her bookshelf/dresser. That way she's got a spot where she can read. I really think it'll be nice.
Today we set out to buy Sweet'ums a new pair of shoes. The little cloth liner thingie in hers was coming out, and we were starting to think she was outgrowing them anyway. So off we go to find her new shoes. We came away with a new pair of shoes that her uncle would be proud of (he loves the skater-style shoes) and that we think she can put on by herself, since they velcro instead of tie.
From there we went to Goodwill looking for inexpensive shirts her daddy could wear to work, instead of buying new ones for him to tear up. They didn't have any so we tried Salvation Army. We didn't find any shirts, but Sweet'ums found something that she set her heart on: a rocking chair. It looked old and the painted design reminded me of something Pennsylvania Dutch. She climbed up in it and made herself at home. She sat there for the fifteen minutes that her daddy shopped, and for another ten that it took us to convince her it was time to go. So we go to the check-out line with the one item we planned to buy and she went into a total meltdown. She started singing, "Let's save the rocking chair, let's save the rocking chair, let's save the rocking chair!" If you've ever seen The Wonder Pets, you know exactly what I'm talking about. At that point her daddy decided it would be a good investment for me and Sweet'ums and would save us some space in her room (so we can get rid of the huge recliner that's already in there). I really wasn't sure about spending the money since we'd already decided to skip getting her a highly recommended brand of shoes in favor of saving some money, but in the end we got her a pair of shoes and a rocking chair for the price we would have spent on that name-brand pair of shoes.
So tomorrow, Sweet'ums, MeMe and I will go back to Salvation Army to pick up her "rescued" rocking chair. The Wonder Child saved the rocking chair! WEEEEEEE!
As soon as her room is reorganized and everything I'll try to take and post some pictures. We'll find a new home for the ratty old recliner and the toddler bed that has been in there taking up space, and then I think I'll put her new chair beside her bookshelf/dresser. That way she's got a spot where she can read. I really think it'll be nice.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
No Butterflies For Me
At least, not this summer.
My garden is dying a slow and painful death. It looks like root rot and I really don't think there's anything I can do for them. I think the soil is just too hard packed, and water isn't draining properly. I've lost five of my glads and two of my dahlias. I don't know if my dahlia tubers will be ok for next year or not.
I might also inherit a couple motherless kittens. Their mom was a first-timer and she didn't know what to do with them; she hasn't been seen since they were born. Only two have survived and Mom's trying to take care of them. None of the other cats around, even the ones who tend to "pool" their babies and raise them village-style, want the babies. Mom thinks it's because the other kittens are older and the milk is drying up.
So we're going to do an experiment.
I have a female cat who is obsessed with mothering things. She's never had kittens but she's not fixed--our male cat is fixed and Kitty is a strictly indoor cat with no interest in the outdoors. We suspect she might have had a false pregnancy recently and she might be open to the idea of being a surrogate mom to the kittens. They'd still need us to feed them but otherwise, I think she'd be a good mom.
So that's what's going on right now. I'm bummed out about my garden, but hopefully I can contribute in some way to helping the babies.
My garden is dying a slow and painful death. It looks like root rot and I really don't think there's anything I can do for them. I think the soil is just too hard packed, and water isn't draining properly. I've lost five of my glads and two of my dahlias. I don't know if my dahlia tubers will be ok for next year or not.
I might also inherit a couple motherless kittens. Their mom was a first-timer and she didn't know what to do with them; she hasn't been seen since they were born. Only two have survived and Mom's trying to take care of them. None of the other cats around, even the ones who tend to "pool" their babies and raise them village-style, want the babies. Mom thinks it's because the other kittens are older and the milk is drying up.
So we're going to do an experiment.
I have a female cat who is obsessed with mothering things. She's never had kittens but she's not fixed--our male cat is fixed and Kitty is a strictly indoor cat with no interest in the outdoors. We suspect she might have had a false pregnancy recently and she might be open to the idea of being a surrogate mom to the kittens. They'd still need us to feed them but otherwise, I think she'd be a good mom.
So that's what's going on right now. I'm bummed out about my garden, but hopefully I can contribute in some way to helping the babies.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Photo Update
Sweet'ums is in gymnastics and has been since January. She's actually quite good at most of the things they've worked on, so I hope maybe it's something she can continue doing at least for fitness' sake. I managed to get a few pictures from my mom today and my computer seems to not mind me playing with them (who knows, it's fickle lately) so I figured I'd post some, in honor of the kid who made me a mother.
Sweet'ums loves the trampoline. Problem is, on free play day everyone gravitates to it and it's hard sometimes to find a spot for her to jump.
She's pretty good at the balance beam.
She really doesn't need any help, but she doesn't have the confidence yet to do it by herself. She panicked when my mom snapped this shot from in front and she realized MeMe wasn't right there on her other side. I admit, it makes me feel good that I make her feel more confident in herself.
MeMe helps her make this look so easy, doesn't she? Sweet'ums won't even attempt this by herself, so my mom is supporting her weight.
Sweet'ums loves the trampoline. Problem is, on free play day everyone gravitates to it and it's hard sometimes to find a spot for her to jump.
She's pretty good at the balance beam.
She really doesn't need any help, but she doesn't have the confidence yet to do it by herself. She panicked when my mom snapped this shot from in front and she realized MeMe wasn't right there on her other side. I admit, it makes me feel good that I make her feel more confident in herself.
MeMe helps her make this look so easy, doesn't she? Sweet'ums won't even attempt this by herself, so my mom is supporting her weight.So this is what we do together. All of us enjoy it and Sweet'ums is actually making some friends! That is probably the most exciting part for me. I've also made some friends, which is exciting but not nearly as exciting as watching Sweet'ums learn to socialize with kids her own age.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day with those wonderful kids and the men that helped them get here!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day with those wonderful kids and the men that helped them get here!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Happy Upcoming Mother's Day
This is what I'd really like to become. I'm far too rough around the edges to even come close to this, but it's a goal for me. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, and my deepest thanks to those wonderful women whose blogs bring motherly insight to me on a regular basis.
The Virtuous Wife, Proverbs 31:10-31
10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “ Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
The Virtuous Wife, Proverbs 31:10-31
10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “ Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
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