3 year well check

Yesterday Sweet'ums had her 3 year well checkup. From the moment we pulled into the parking lot she knew where we were and she did NOT want to be there. She was fussy, but cooperative. She knows things go much faster and easier when she just does as she's told!

So she's 33 1/2lbs and 37 1/2in. tall, landing pretty well in the middle percentile for height and upper-middle for weight. She's progressing completely normally and he seemed pleased. The one thing he was most impressed with is actually the one thing that wracks my nerves the most: she climbed up on the step ladder they have in the office (to help kids climb up on the exam table) and stood atop it without holding onto anything. He said most kids won't do that at her age and he was impressed that she would, though whether it was her balance or her nerve he was impressed with he didn't say. It was only one of the little two-step ones so he wasn't really worried about her falling. Actually, he has scolded me in the past for scolding her for climbing on it because, he says, I was right there to catch her if she fell and it's good to nurture the sense of adventure and independence. (I like him. He's not one of these new-agey, psycho-babble, coddle-them-and-keep-them-babies-forever types. That's just not my style, even if I do struggle with watching her grow up before my eyes!)

So apparently gymnastics is paying off! It nurtures that nerves-of-steel thing the doctor likes so much that she just HAD to have inherited from my brother since he used to do the EXACT same thing. He like to have killed my mom with it!

Speaking of gymnastics... Sweet'ums' teacher will no longer be with her class. She's moving back north with her family. So far I don't know who Sweet'ums' teacher will be but I have ideas and hopes. The lady I'd really love to see teach her class already has a class during that time frame so I doubt they'd pull her to teach the little ones, but she's a great, no-nonsense kind of lady--just what my cute little free spirit needs.

I apologize for my rambling sentences and whatnot... I'm battling a headache that has been with me for a couple days now. It's not a severe one--it's one of those little ones that is just bad enough to let you know it's there--but it has messed with my train of thought and ability to focus all day. I think it's just the weather, what with that cold front sitting right over us and the little tropical thing to the south. I'm just afraid to take anything for it since I've been on metformin and you have to be so careful.

Anyway, that's the scoop. Sweet'ums is growing so fast and I can hardly believe she's 3!

Warm snugglies for BABY!!!

Wanna see what I did today? Wanna wanna wanna???

So I promised pictures of the quilt in progress, but it all happened so fast. Cutting out the pieces took the longest but once I started sewing it flew by.

So here's the half-time results:


The binding will be in the bear paw print pattern and the backing will be brown flannel. As for the quilted design... Well, the jury's still out on that. I'll share more once I've actually bought my backing and have it all pinned together.

So what do you think? I love doing this! :)

Oh, and we're just going to pretend that the Hot Wheels are there for scale and have nothing to do with the fact that my three year old has the hots for classic cars, ok? Mommy already has enough on her mind without worrying over what boys she'll meet one day with beautiful cars!

3

Today, at 11:56 PM, my baby turned 3. Every year so far I've waited up until that moment. I'm not really sure why, except that in some way I feel like it honors her. It's a small thing, but it's mine.

Three years... It's so hard to believe. In some ways it seems impossible to have been such a long time because so much has happened... in other ways it seems to have flown by. Either way, it's been a joy having her in my life and no matter how much easier life might have been if we'd done things differently, there's nothing in the world great enough that would make me trade this time I've had with her.

Happy Birthday, baby.

Girlie girl

The good pics from the party are on my mom's camera, so it might be a few days before I can post any good ones. But I do have these from tonight of Sweet'ums enjoying some of her party gifts--princess jewelry from her aunt and nail polish from Mommy and Daddy. We finished it off with a little of Mommy's lip gloss and played princess for a while.



It looks like she might be a bit of a girlie-girl! She kept twirling in front of the mirror, trying to get side views of herself, and giving herself the "do these training pants make my butt look big" examination. It was so funny. MeMe and I will have to dig deep and summon our inner girlie-girls so we can make sure we nurture all of her personality traits.

We survived!

We lived through it! All of the good pictures are on my mom's camera so I don't have a lot to show right now, but I have one to share at least.


I'm off to take a much-needed nap now. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

Oh Boy

I over-did it. BIG time.

I spent my night last night (and when I say night, I mean from the time Sweet'ums went to bed at 10 until I went to bed about about 3:30) baking. I made a two layer 9" cake and a two layer 12" cake. Prep took quite some time since I had to make it in batches--I wasn't sure exactly how much I'd need and some recipes don't double well, so I figured it would be best to stick to the recipe as it was. Then, I only have one 12" cake pan, so I had to wait the 45 minutes it took the first one to bake and then the 15 minutes to cool it enough to get it out of the pan before I could start my next one. I tried washing things as I went, which was a big waste of time too. Towards the end I went ahead and trimmed the cakes I had done so it would be one less thing to do today. There was some wasted time in the midst of it all, but for the most part it was just one big baking marathon.

Hopefully, if I do this right, the end result will be a double-layer two-tiered Wonder Pets cake. I'm only making such a big cake because Ricky's family likes to eat, and every year I run it close on cake.

I had trouble sleeping last night once I went to bed, and every time I'd wake I'd have trouble falling back to sleep. This morning my shoulders ache badly, I think from holding the mixer. My hand and wrist ache too but again, I think it's the mixer--the vibrations from it always bother me. And I still have to ice and decorate the things!

Once I get them done I'll post pictures. You better believe I'm proud of this monstrosity!

It's CRUNCH TIME!!!

So we're officially in counting-down-the-hours territory for Sweet'ums' party and I'm in full panic mode. I've got a lot to do in so little time!

My primary worry is making sure I get the cake done in time. This year I'm making the cake, which is something I haven't done before. I mean, I've made cakes but not with a deadline or for a birthday before. My daughter is hooked on Wonder Pets, and her party is a Wonder Pets party, but the local grocery store doesn't do Wonder Pets cakes...leaving it to Mommy to come up with a solution. Not that she cares, of course, but I figured if we were doing a theme we might as well have a matching cake.

I think the part that has me stressed about getting things done, though, is the fact that NG and I share a vehicle, and he works too far away to justify me taking him to work and keeping the car (that, and I don't want to have to get up at 5 AM to go get him from work!). That means we have to squeeze in as much as we can this afternoon, and then try to get everything else done tomorrow so that Saturday is as free as possible. Mom would help except she's working too, and these are two of her busy days.

So I'm feeling the pressure now. I know everything will be fine--I do this every year, even in years when I'm not baking--but it doesn't stop me from getting a bit stressed.

On the up side, her present has made it to town and now we're just waiting for mail delivery. I'm excited!

The last few days

My birthday ended up being a decent day. Mom's comment ended up being a joke (which reinforces that I'm overly-sensitive!) and when they came to pick Sweet'ums up so she could go to church with them on Sunday they brought a tiny little cake and an Olive Garden gift card. Made me feel special. :) I would rather them save their money and all of us just go out together, but I imagine we could still do that if I played my cards right (used the gift card to pay for them and then me and NG pay for ourselves?).

Then, NG came home with another little cake for me and a card. Yes, I have a fridge FULL of cake. Fortunately they're both small and I shared some with Mom and Dad when we went to pick up Sweet'ums on Sunday night. Hopefully I won't manage to kill myself with a sugar OD anytime this week!

My dear friend also brought me a little something. She picked up some candles for me for my birthday. I love them! There's a couple little votives and one huge candle in a jar that looks sort of like the stacks of a nuclear reactor (that thick, rounded hour-glass type shape). Awesome! She spent the day with me and that was awesome.

Sunday I was sick, which stank. I don't know if it was a 24 hour stomach bug, or mild food poisoning, or what. It was awful. I'm so glad Sweet'ums was with my mom!

I'm recovered now, suffering only occasional wooziness. But now NG is sick with allergies, which is a full-body experience for him, complete with nausea.

In the week ahead we have to prepare for Sweet'ums' birthday party and everything. I ordered her present (which is something I think she'll enjoy--blue to match her leo, and pink because she's a bit of a girlie-girl) and hopefully it'll get here in time. Overall, things are falling into place. I just need NG to make sure for me that everyone knows that the time has changed.

Beyond that, this has been a quiet few days. With any luck the next few nights will fly by and we can get on with our weekend!

Thanks for stopping by this weekend, guys. Sorry I didn't get back sooner. I'm gonna run now--looks like the little lady needs a nap.

So close I can taste it!

You know that potty training has been a long, hard process when you look at that first poop in the potty and you think seriously to yourself about having it bronzed.

Today we had a small victory. Sweet'ums starting talking about "dook" (you can thank my husband for that word) and getting fidgety and so I started looking around, thinking she'd left one somewhere for me to find. I asked her if she wanted a diaper (since she won't usually go without one, and when she does she gets upset about her "accident") and she refused. So I waited.

About an hour and a half later, she comes running to me, jibbering something about "dook" and "poopy potty" and threw the toys she'd been holding into my lap. Then she runs off towards the potty and sits down.

She managed to make it in time this time!

Potty training victory is so close I can taste it!

And in hindsight, maybe that wasn't the best title considering what the post is about.

Is she serious???

My birthday has always been a pain. Between 9/11 and the fact that we're just not good at putting on a good party, it's always been a bit of a dud. That's not to say I haven't enjoyed some of them, just that some of them have been days I would rather have slept through.

My mom pulled a real doozy this year though. And I think it was an attempt at a joke but I can't say for sure. My mom sometimes tries to make jokes by saying things that... well, they're just not funny. On the other hand, she IS getting older and I have to brace myself for her and Dad to start forgetting things.

When she asked whether I'd decided to go to church with them Sunday (there's going to be a little program for Grandparents' Day) I told her I'm still not sure, since my medicine is still messing with my stomach and NG was trying to decide whether he was going to do something for my birthday tomorrow evening when he gets off work or wait until one of the next two weekends since he'll be off then. She goes, "Oh, that's right... Tomorrow's your birthday."

Then as they were leaving, she said, "Well, I'll go ahead and wish you a happy birthday, just in case I forget to tell you tomorrow."

Gee whiz, Mom. I love you too.

P.S.

I'm sorry my last few posts have been novels. I'll try to keep them shorter from now on.

All You Need Is Love

I was thinking earlier tonight: I don't talk much about spirituality on here. The main reason I started thinking about it was just because of a reference to sharing about my life made in my comments, and it got me to thinking about the other blogs I read. And just in case, no, I don't take any offense to it--it just sparked my thoughts. I read several blogs that have themes, and it's something that never really stuck for me. And then my hands give me trouble sometimes so I don't write in my little journal as much anymore and since typing is a lot easier on them, I use this place as the chronicle of the little things in life.

The reason why spirituality doesn't come into my posts much is primarily because I'm not always completely sure where I stand. I'm going through a rather prolonged phase of soul searching and study, which right now has me studying Judaism and taking a very slow journey through the Bible looking at the women mentioned, why they were mentioned, and what their roles were in their families and communities. The core of my beliefs remain the same as they ever were, but there's so many details I'm still working out.

Anyway, moving on. Earlier this year (for New Year's, actually) I decided my "word of the year" would be love, because I need to show more love, be more receptive of love, rekindle love in my relationship, nurture my daughter and my love for her, and learn more about what it means to love. So far my husband and I have worked to protect the love between us and keep it strong, I'm continuing to develop my relationship with my daughter, and I've learned that sometimes, when you love people, you just have to ignore them and the no-good they're up to in order to protect the existence of that relationship. It's been a hard year when it comes to family. I've experienced major setbacks but I've also grown and learned a lot. I find myself more and more in love with my family every day, and that was my first goal.

One of the other big things I've tried to do (and this is where my post relates back to spirituality) is try to look at the world and the people I come across the way Jesus would. I'm definitely not perfect and it will probably always be a work in progress, but this effort has really got me to thinking. It actually has me a little disappointed, sometimes, with the people in this world and their attitudes towards others. Like this whole controversy about Muslims, for example. I've recently heard from people I never dreamed would say such a thing that all Muslims are "out to get us" and when I countered with examples of Muslim friends we've shared who are nothing but normal, mainstream people trying to raise their families, I was met with, "Well, I've heard they'll befriend you just to make you trust them." It got me to wondering how Jesus would have interacted with Muslims, how He would tell us to treat them. After all, Jesus spent time with people who were on the fringes of their society, who everyone else looked down on and victimized. I'm well aware of the dangers within the Muslim community, but I also know that to say all Muslims are extremists is akin to saying that all Christians share the beliefs of the Westboro Baptist people. I imagine that, like the majority of Christians, most of them are fairly moderate in their beliefs and just want to live their lives. How would Jesus treat them? Would He see them as Abrahamic brethren worth fighting for, or heathens we shouldn't waste our time on? I'm not trying to go off on a political tangent, but it was the best example I could think of off-hand.

I'm not very good yet at this whole business in practice, but it gives me a lot to think about. I realize, after fretting for so many years about not being perfect enough for God, that Jesus didn't expect people to be perfect--He only expected them to try, to make a conscious change and stick to it. I realize that unlike so many people today, Jesus didn't use His spiritual status to place Himself on a pedestal above the "undesirables"--rather, those outcasts were at the very heart of what He came here for in the first place and some of them went on to be leaders in the fledgling Christian movement. Were it not for its acceptance of all kinds of people and not just a "chosen" few, Christianity might not have flourished the way it has. Trying to remember to consider how Jesus would treat people forces me to stop and think about how I treat people. Again, I'm not very good at it yet, and usually it kicks in AFTER I've said something dumb, but slowly I'm trying to change the way I think and treat people.

Meantime, I'm reading a lot on Judaism and studying the Bible, starting from Genesis. The study on Judaism started out being an attempt to understand a couple funny wordings I found and trying to figure out the actual meaning and some cultural context from the people who know the OT best. The more I read the more I found something familiar and comforting in the Jewish faith. There's a lot of beauty in it and I find that understanding it adds a bit of depth to my understanding of Christianity as well--after all, Jesus was Jewish. Understanding Christianity in a Jewish context fleshes it out a bit and adds a certain cultural richness that has been lost during the centuries. It has helped me feel a certain connection to our spiritual ancestors and has revived my interest in the OT and relating it to our lives today. It has become a deep interest of mine.

As for my Bible study, it began with my frustration with some of the modern attitudes about the place of women in the church. It's almost like there's two main schools of thought, each on totally opposite ends of the spectrum. One believes that women have a very clearly defined place in the church (AKA submissive and silent) and the other is sort of a Christian feminism, which is a bit of an extreme in and of itself. So, I got curious. I know that a great number of women are mentioned in the Bible, but only a few get a great deal of discussion. Women are never named without a reason, and women whose stories are told are discussed to teach a lesson. What are we supposed to learn from them? What were their virtues and faults? Who can take the most away from the story, men and church leaders or women with their families and communities? Most of the women I remember reading about as a kid were in the Bible because they led unconventional lives and God worked through them. I want to find the wisdom in those stories and ponder the possibilities God has for the lives of women today.

I might, as I develop my notes from my studies, start a series here about Biblical women. I haven't really made up my mind yet. I guess in a lot of ways I don't feel qualified and I'm a little afraid that sharing my own thoughts might knock someone else off course. One thing I'd never want to be guilty of is causing someone else to waver or stumble in their faith or to lead them off-course. After all, I myself am still sorting out my faith and figuring out the validity of some things I was taught as a kid that I'm not sure about anymore.

The goal of my blog was to examine myself and to watch myself grow from this awkward caterpillar into a metaphorical butterfly. I don't talk much about it but this place does certainly give me the opportunity to look at my own life and the things happening in it, and process my feelings about what's going on. I think I might also start examining my spiritual growth here too. It is, after all, an essential part of a healthy, "whole", person.

I hope everyone has a wonderful, safe Labor Day weekend. Thanks to all of you for being so supportive of me this year, patiently reading my rants and raves about the things going on in my life, and for sharing your insight with me about my life and the people in it. And thanks too for the wonderful insight in all of your own blogs. It helps me more than you'll ever know.

Life, Love and Losing My Mind

In some ways things are finally falling into place for me. In others, I feel like I'm going crazy. For every positive happening in my life something negative is trying to get a foothold, and I'm trying so hard to not be so negative about things. That's not easy for someone like me. I've always been one to look at the way things are, instead of how they could be. (My brother was the idealist in the family...Someone had to keep him grounded.)

I'll get the negatives out of the way first. For one, I've had a lot of friction lately with this pregnant girl I know. Essentially she acts like A) she's the first woman to EVER have a baby, or a rough pregnancy, and B) she's never had a pregnancy before (it's worth noting that this is her second child). She has started acting like she's some sort of pregnancy and parenting guru, implying that I'm wrong on pretty much everything I say or do or think regarding parenting because this is her second child/pregnancy and she knows better than me. I'm not saying I'm right all the time...only that I'd like to not be talked to like a child when she thinks she knows better. She's completely self-obsessed--I can't get a word in when she calls until she decides she's done and has to go or my phone dies on me. I've told her about our situation, baby fever, and how it's all a really sensitive spot for me, but she continues to go on and on about her pregnancy and how miserable she is. All the while, all I can think of is how much I would love another chance to have that. I lost all patience and respect for her when she was talking about her prospective VBAC and her early labor pains at 35 weeks, and she commented that it would be best if the baby went ahead and came so it would be small enough for her to have a successful VBAC, and that he'd "only" spend a week or two in the NICU. I confronted her over it the next day, and of course she backpedaled and acted like I misunderstood her meaning. She pretended like she wasn't offended, but I haven't heard from her since and sadly that's no problem to me. I'm trying hard not to be so nasty, so negative, so resentful, but she made it impossible for me to look forward to talking to her. Talking to her always made me bitter, and for a while I thought maybe it was me and I was in the wrong, but after a while I realized that it wasn't just me--she was ungrateful for what she already had, for what she was getting, and for the financial assistance she was getting that so many others need and can't get. She has been the biggest source of emotional stress for me lately. I don't miss that frustration and anxiety at all.

The next main negative is that Sweet'ums' birthday party is just around the corner and last night I get this phone call telling me I either have to move up her party by a week or change the time on the day we were going to have it. Both of these options aren't the simplest--I had the whole day planned around the time of her party and I chose that time for a reason, and moving it up a week can't happen either since her daddy works and her party would fall on my birthday. To complicate matters even more, I didn't wait until the last minute this year to hand out invitations, so no matter what we chose I was going to have to call everyone and let them know that plans had changed. Apparently the lady who takes the reservations had failed to write ours down right away and ended up double-booking that time on that day. What really frustrated me is that she had told me to reserve early because they book up six to eight weeks in advance, so I told her three months beforehand what day and time I wanted. Why is it that she didn't know until last night that she was double-booked? Did someone come in yesterday and reserve and THEN she realized she already had a reservation for that time? And if that's the case, why are WE the ones having to change? I know, I know, moving up the time by two and a half hours isn't a big deal, but to someone like me it is. I'm a planner and I panic when things start changing and going "wrong". Her party will still be a lot of fun, but I had deliberately tried to arrange it so that I wouldn't be pressed for time and start panicking on the day of the party. Now, I don't think I'll be able to rearrange my day in a way that won't have me freaking out and stressed to the point of not being able to enjoy the afternoon.

Now, for the positive. Hooray! Other than the time falling through on me, I've got more done in advance for her party this year than I normally do. I'm not very good at planning parties so I'm proud of myself. I've still got work to do but overall, things are looking good. You know, if I don't totally fall apart the day of the party.

Also, potty training is FINALLY showing real promise! All week we have worked on it and she's only had a couple accidents. After the success at MeMe and Poppy's house the other day, we had some setbacks. Then, I read something about how some kids get hung up on potty terminology and just don't "get" what it's all about. They know what it sounds like to use the potty but don't really know how to connect the sensations and what they're really doing and all that. So, I got this bright idea to tell her to put her water in the potty, and that did the trick! She knew what "pee-pee" sounded like when she followed me to the potty, but she wasn't connecting the term and sound to what she did. On the other hand, she knows what water is, what it feels like, and what it looks like, so telling her to put her water in the potty was an idea she could latch onto. Getting her to land #2 in the potty is a whole different challenge, but at least she's putting her "water" where it belongs!

Gymnastics is going a little better. Sweet'ums is still crazy and keeps the teacher busy, but she seems to take her a little more in stride now than she did at first. I can't help but laugh sometimes at the class. This past week, she had a different teacher since hers was out sick. This girl was less tolerant and kept the kids in line better. The kids got the best of her though. All of the kids LOVE the trampoline and it's the hardest thing to get them to take turns with. So while one of the kids was taking a turn, one of the boys took off his shorts. When the teacher realized what he had done she scrambled to try to get his shorts back on. While the teacher was distracted with that boy, my daughter decided to take a turn on the trampoline. When the teacher took off after my daughter, another girl decided to jump on the trampoline behind the teacher. And I know, I know, I shouldn't laugh, but it looked so well-planned! It was like the class trouble maker created a diversion so the girls could have a little fun. I wish I had it on video.

I also changed the pattern for the quilt I'm making. It'll be the first one on the second row in the "other view". The colors will be different, of course, but this pattern will be easier on my hands for cutting and piecing. I'm looking forward to getting the supplies and making it. I'll try to take pictures through the whole process and keep everyone updated.

Nice Guy and I also have been working on staying close to each other. We're doing so much better, and while problems are still there and probably will remain, at least we're keeping our love and friendship alive. The best thing for us so far was the little book we started writing things we love about each other in. Even when he's working it's a way to stay in touch and share sweet thoughts with each other.

I'm sorry this post is so long but I wanted to vent a little and to update too. (I did try editing it to make it shorter.) Life is a roller coaster and it's hard to keep track of the ups and downs without my sanity slipping up now and then. At the end of the day, though, I'm so thankful for my husband and my daughter and our growth together as a family. Crazy as things are, the two of them make everything worthwhile.