More Small Blessings

After months of getting little to no sleep, things are finally turning around. Sweet'ums is finally going to bed easier and actually staying asleep at night. I've also figured out that part of her problem has been allergies and, per the doctor's orders, she's been getting Zyrtec (or the generic, rather) each night. I really wish I'd thought to do that sooner.

So in a lot of ways she's like a new kid. She's still hard to figure out and appease but at least she's sleeping better. And, as all moms know, a well rested child is a better behaved child.

Today in the mail we got the notice about her IEP meeting. I'm really dreading it but at the same time I'm looking forward to it. I guess the easiest way to say it is I'm scared. It's a huge change and I don't know what to expect. And on her first day I really want to drive her to school but I don't have a car of my own. No matter how it all works out I imagine her daddy will try to be home for it.

So that's all I have right now. I'll update again soon.

Grr

I hate when people who know my upbringing raise the subject of religion with me. The problem is that I'm very well educated but that education lends itself to looking at the faith from many sides, and not always the way people want me to look at it; they always end up thinking I'm some kind of heathen when really, I'm more at peace now with what I've learned on my own than I ever was with the stuff they taught me at church. It's a journey, folks. We don't all get there at the same time... And it would seem that the scenic route is meant for me.

So Fast

So lately a lot has been happening. We've had a long weekend dealing with a lack of sleep and us passing around a stomach bug, but some good is happening too.

For a couple years now we've struggled to get ready to buy a house. The good news is that we're almost there! Hubby's credit is in range, but the mortgage guy he talked to said to take another couple months to get one more thing in order so we could get a better interest rate and maybe a better mortgage (as a whole). So that is exciting! It's nice to know that we could go RIGHT NOW if we wanted and most likely get it, so waiting a little longer doesn't hurt as much.

The other good thing is that we finally got our copy of the report from Sweet'ums' evaluation. It looks like a pretty solid statement of autism but they want her tested again at a later time to make sure. They mentioned that with her being so young that the evaluation is indicative only of her current level of development and not of her future potential, and hence another reason for her to be re-tested in the future. The final judgment about her services will be left up to the staffing people, so pray that they'll help us out. I'm at my wit's end as to how to help her and I'll be pretty annoyed if I have to fight with insurance to get something done. I know in my heart that if they'll help her now she won't need their help later, but if this gets put off we're looking at a lifetime of playing catch-up. That wouldn't be fair to her.


Overall I'm excited right now that things are finally moving along in all of those areas that seemed stalled for so long. It's actually a little overwhelming, since it's all happening at once. And, mostly I'm thrilled that something's finally happening for Sweet'ums because what happens now might make the difference for her whole life. That's a huge deal to me.

So how are y'all doing out there?

More of me and my emotions

Tonight my heart is raw. It was a good day. Sweet'ums came home from her Sunday with MeMe and she was in a good mood. She was all over her daddy, hugging and kissing and she actually told us she loved us after she heard us say it to each other. It's hard to let her go to bed on days like this, knowing tomorrow may be the polar opposite.

My heart is screaming tonight, begging to just keep redoing today. I shouldn't feel like this. I should just be thankful for the good days we have, but it really feels unfair that every day isn't better, like today.

I feel really foolish, sitting here, crying. I'm talking to a friend of mine on Yahoo who has a little girl who has some issues, not the same issues as Sweet'ums, but they're similar enough that on a day to day basis she knows exactly how I'm feeling. She's such a blessing and I can't even say how good it is to be able to talk to someone who understands. I'd never wish this roller coaster feeling on anyone, but it's always uplifting when someone "gets" it.

I'm sorry to keep bringing all of this up. I'm a downer lately.

In other news, we went to a wedding last weekend. It was the first time NG and I had really dressed up together and I think we looked pretty good. The wedding was beautiful too. I got to see some friends from high school for the first time in years and just chill out. NG and I also got to dance together for the first time. I'm glad we ended up going. I almost didn't, but my friend I mentioned up there gave me the necessary pep talks to motivate me. :)

So I guess that's all I have for now. I leave you with a song I really like. This video isn't the best but I love the song.