I've handled everything well, I think. All things considered I've coped pretty good. I put on a brave face. I tell everyone we're going to be okay. I even believe it most of the time.
But sometimes, as a mom, I just want to hear her say "I love you".
Most people mean well. But they don't understand. I had a taste of her affection just before all of this started. She had just started telling me she loved me. She had just started showing spontaneous affection. Now most affection is mechanical and she seems to just be doing what's expected of her. Rarely does she kiss or hug me anymore without being told. Even more rarely does she verbalize her affection.
I don't know. Tonight it just got to me. He seems mad at me for some reason, says that both of us can't cry at once. He's had plenty of chances to cry. Most days I'm on top of my game and I keep it together well enough for the both of us. My heart is just breaking tonight.
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3 comments:
Victoria, just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you. Hang on to Him.
Hey Victoria...I want to make sure I go back & read your last post too! Make sure you keep asking for those love & kisses then. If that is what it takes girl keep doing it :) Sorry you guys are going through pain right now...I have friends who have there kids in programming that is making aHUGE difference in their lives. Make sure you do cry too though...I like to cry...a lot :)
Off to read your last post!
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey..dun know what to say..except..I'm praying for u all & dun think too much now..take one step at a time..
Keep on telling her & showing her u love her..I'm sure she will do the same in her own special way..
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