I can't do it

I can't stay away. There's just too much to talk about.

For starters, my hands have been sore and stiff for long enough now that it has almost stopped bugging me. They still hurt, but it's like having a headache for a few running days--you kind of stop noticing it after a while. The only problem is that major body parts, like my lower back and my knees, are harder to ignore, and I ran out of my medicine two nights ago (can't refill until tomorrow). It's hard to forget that you hurt when you have to have your husband haul your rear out of bed! But I'm trying to stay in good spirits about it. It's something I've gotta learn to live with.

I've also had a lot going on with the family. NG went for an ECHO yesterday and goes for a treadmill stress test on Friday. He's already had an EKG done. Apparently his doctor heard something funny during his physical last week. I wouldn't worry so much except I know a girl whose husband, who isn't much older than NG and is about his height and build, basically walked out his front door one morning and collapsed. He was in Stage 2 heart failure and went into end-stage heart failure shortly after. Luckily he got a transplant and has done well, but their situation plays through my mind every time I think about NG. It's a scary thought, especially with a small child at home.

We're beginning the house hunt from scratch again. The other place was a real winner for me, except that the guy lied to us about why there was a delay. Now he wants even more money and we're afraid that we'd start the process and have him keep upping the asking price. Plus, he's shown us that he is completely unwilling to negotiate, and that's not entirely fair--he's asking $15k more than it's appraised at, and in our area it's common knowledge that they appraise higher than the actual value so they can get more in property tax. So to spare us what could be a highly unpleasant buying experience, we've decided to move on. We have a few backup places that we're going to check into and we'll go from there. I just hate to miss out on such a nice place, but hey--it's not worth that kind of stress.

I think I've also decided on a word for the year: Love. It's so easy to love the people you live with and the people you've hand-picked for involvement in your life, but it's not always so easy to love other folks who cross your path--people you interact with at work, the cashier at the grocery store who never bags your stuff right, or even people attached to the people you love through marriage or family or other social connections. Something I need to learn to do is to love, or at least try to understand, the people in my life that I don't have a natural connection to. I have too much anger and I need to learn to love more. Show the kind of love to the "undesirables" that Jesus showed. Remember to give the criminals and tax collectors and in-laws a break, you know? I also need to find ways to rekindle the love in my own household on a daily basis because even if we have nothing else, we have each other, and we can't forget that.

So that's my busy week. I'm gonna go chill out for a bit, give my hands a break, and hopefully fall asleep before it gets too late.

Stay warm, ladies!