Potty Training FAIL

I'm at the point of tears.

I have a child who will be 3 in September. She KNOWS what to do when she needs to pee or poop. She KNOWS that if she sits on the potty, she'll get a reward, lots of praise, whatever. She knows that if she tells Mommy that she needs to go, Mommy goes head-over-heels happy and takes her to the Big Girl Potty to sit. She even had a day not long ago where she got to run around naked all day long and she went to the potty by herself, without so much as requesting our attention, time and time again. She won't do it consistently, but that day showed me that she knows what to do.

Despite knowing what to do and even walking me through it when she follows me to the bathroom, she refuses to "go" on the potty.

I'm about to lose it. Over and over again today, instead of indicating that she needed to potty or sitting on it herself or even getting my attention, she simply found something on the floor to pee on. I don't know how many blankets I've had to wash or bags I've had to throw away that she found and peed on. And she's doing it on purpose! She brought me her sippy a little while ago for a refill and while I was distracted doing that, not four feet away from me she peed on the beach bag that we put toys in to take to her MeMe's house. I caught her doing it and tried dragging her to the potty but she just resisted and yelled at me.

I've tried every "technique" I can find. I've tried letting her run naked. I've tried training pants, cloth training pants, setting a timer, giving rewards (everything from stickers to candy bars), and setting her on the potty when I go to the bathroom. We've tried multiple potty videos, the "big girl" speech, a potty chair and even the seat that installs on our toilet. She seemed to understand all of it and has shown no fear whatsoever to either of the potties. She gives no sign at all what's wrong, why she won't go. She doesn't give any signs that she's hurting down below, like maybe she has some kind of infection or something, and there's nothing else going on that would traumatize her regarding that area. As far as I can see there's absolutely no reason why she should be so resistant to going "big girl potty".

I'm really losing patience. This is by far the most difficult and frustrating thing we've faced with her up to this point--we had so many sleepless nights when she was an infant, she spit up so much, her terrible twos were really terrible at times, there was the phase when we finally got her to stop spitting up when she also stopped pooping that resulted in a lot of crying from me and her both, and NONE of it made me feel as angry as this does. I've been frustrated so many times over with the challenges she's given us, but never has she made me just want to SCREAM like I want to right now. And of course the hubby isn't home to take over for me. When I called Mom to talk about it she basically gave me the, "Well, I GUESS I can come get her for the week and see what I can do," which wasn't what I was asking at all and I doubt would help anyway, because she's worked with Sweet'ums before with no better luck than I've had.

I don't know anyone who has had this kind of trouble potty training a girl, and most of the suggestions I've found online either are strictly boy-appropriate (Cheerios in the potty are great, you know, if the kid can actually see them, and most girls can't if they're sitting) or have already been tried. I'm at my wit's end and I really don't want to go to the pediatrician in September and get the third degree for her not being potty trained. I've lost absolutely all optimism about this. I've been trying for nearly two years to get her used to the potty and to encourage her to use it. I'm ready to give up and just say fine, whatever, let her start college in diapers.

I don't know who else to ask for advice or where else to go for help. I feel like crying, really. Here I have this great kid who rarely misbehaves (and almost never in public), who turns into a complete monster as soon as the diaper comes off. And of course she doesn't want to wear a diaper, but she refuses to take any kind of responsibility for going to the potty or the mess she makes when she goes on the floor. Even the panty collection we've accumulated doesn't help--she refuses to wear them! And let's face it--who can really afford to keep a kid in diapers indefinitely?

When her daddy gets home I want to hand her over to him, tell him it's HIS turn to deal with her, and retreat to my bedroom never to be seen again. But, I can't do that either! Guess who has to work tomorrow even though he wasn't supposed to! So on top of the hair-ripping frustration that my child is causing I've also got the enormous disappointment of him not being home tomorrow.

I just want to cry. I've been able to handle pretty much everything else she's thrown at me, but this is too much. If she had her way, I'd be changing her diapers until the day I die.